I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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