smell my finger.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
