Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
