Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
