Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
