If i come over, it means nothing
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I believe in your delicious
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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