You can't motorboat a personality
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
i think my cat just said my name.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
