I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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