I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
