turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
