Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Sext me about skeletons
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
