I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
