Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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