Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
