I am in a vortex of obligation.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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