Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
