A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
