I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Too much gin, very little bucket
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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