do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
