so explain again why im purple
no
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
