so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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