I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
