i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
