At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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