remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
