My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
