Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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