Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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