Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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