What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
