Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
