There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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