How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
