why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
