singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
