I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
