question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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