he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
