My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
