Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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