Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
