dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
