if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
