Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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