I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
