I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
