i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
