I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
