my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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