next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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