he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
