at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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