i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
